The majority of my life was spent searching, planning, and arranging circumstances to fit my perceived wants and desires, with no consideration for those around me. Before I recovered, the only purposes that drove my life were selfishness and a relentless pursuit for drugs and alcohol. Because of the solution offered in the 12 Steps, I now spend time searching, planning, and arranging ways in which I can be helpful to those around me. When I was 45 days sober, the initial draw to carrying the message to other women was out of desperation to stay in the position of neutrality for permanent sobriety. At the time, I was not able to comprehend the ways in which being of service to others would alter my life and relationship with my God, forever.
The gift of desperation and the guidance from other recovered women in my life led me to continue to carry this message and be of service.
As I continued to work with others and search out places to be helpful, I began to see how much more it affects my life than simply just staying sober. I have experienced, felt, and seen more of the God of my understanding through carrying this message than in any other part of my life. I began to understand why I experienced certain trials in my life and watched as some of my darkest moments became the catalyst for which other women found a Higher Power. Watching other women rediscover and rebuild their lives with God, simply because I was willing to drive out and read with them, is one of the most breathtaking experiences.
To have the gift of having my life depend upon begin helpful and selfless anywhere I go is the biggest blessing I have ever received and it allows me to continue to see my God in places and situations that I never thought possible.
Going from a life driven by a self-destructive purpose, to a life driven by an honest desire to help as many women and people as I can is one of the many promises that I have seen come true through my Higher Power. It has taught me how to be more effective at what appropriately helping other willing individuals should look like, which will be an invaluable, guiding principle throughout my life. Selfless action has taken me to places that I never thought I would find myself, doing things that I never thought I would do while seeing the beauty of my God’s work in the lives of others.
Being of maximum service carries out further into my life than just sponsorship; it has made me a better student, a better employee, and a better friend and daughter.
Not many people get the opportunity to have their life depend on being of service to others and therefore most of those people miss out on some of the most emotional, draining, beautiful, inspiring experiences. Being of service and carrying the message allows me to experience almost full-reliance and full faith on my God and it is indescribably amazing. Being two and a half years sober now, carrying this message has more depth and weight than I could have ever imagined.
Living a life driven by service and self-sacrifice is a vital piece to the growth of my spiritual life and wellbeing and is one of the best gifts I have ever received.